August, 2007

I've just learned not to assume I know how an event fits into the bigger picture of life.

Last week, a friend and I caught up on recent life events while our children played at a local park. At the end of our playdate, while I was lifting my daughter into her carseat, I smacked my eyebrow into the car door frame.

I immediately started bawling with intense pain. Luckily, my friend was there to look after the children so I could surrender completely into my agony. After a few minutes, she took a look at the wound and suggested we go to the emergency room for a couple of stitches.

After sitting in the ER waiting room for half an hour or so, the triage nurse called me back and asked me how my pain level was, between "one" (the mildest) and "ten" (the worst). Sheepishly, I told her that it was at a "one," and that maybe I should just go home.

"Oh, no," she replied, "you'll need to get that stitched up." Within an hour I was all fixed up and on my way home.

The meaning of this event seemed pretty clear to me-I need to be more present and aware, slow down and focus my attention on what I am doing. Or so I thought.

Just to be sure I wasn't missing anything, I decided to meditate on the question, "what purpose does this accident serve in my life?" Very quickly, the answer arrived as

"IT'S ONLY PAIN. IT WILL PASS."

at which point I became deeply grateful that I had just been saved from making a 180 degree wrong turn in my life.

You see, during the chat with my friend at the park, I told her how I hadn't been feeling very motivated in accompanying my private clients into deep areas of pain recently. Feeling apathetic in the deep pain direction, I thought that I would offer situational coaching rather than deeper healing work to my private clients.

The accident's meaning inspired me to completely reverse that decision and clarify my intention in using NVC to guide clients through deep, murky waters.

I feel excited once again to facilitate exploration of tender spots, long-standing hurts and deep pain. Simply put, the NVC tools of reconciliation and empathy turned my outlook on life from pessimism to trust, and it is greatly fulfilling for me to share this healing with others. As I turn my intention in this direction, I expect that my needs for compassion, love, healing and beauty will be met.

The next time you are in any type of pain, I hope that you will take heart. It's only pain. It will pass. As long as you don't resist the pain, the passing may happen sooner than you think. Fortunately, I'll have a permanent reminder of this lesson on my left eyebrow.