May, 2006

Ray of the month:  Learning

Learning, or its siblings of growth, expansion, development or gaining understanding, explains a great deal of what goes on in my life.  My need for learning has motivated:

• Getting a doctorate by age 29
• Teaching music lessons since age 15
• Starting and teaching in a one-room schoolhouse
• Becoming an NVC trainer
• Keeping learning opportunities in different disciplines on my radar screen and taking advantage of as many as possible

The need for learning also explains several emotions that I notice popping up within myself, such as

• Why I feel enlivened walking on the UW campus
• My worry over my son's performance on an IQ test, the results of which will grant or deny him access to certain learning opportunities
• Disappointment when I don't take the time to read stimulating books
• A feeling of deep fulfillment at the conclusion of a workshop
• Impatience when others in a group are not moving along at my pace (in other words, I want maximum learning for myself!)

The need for learning is so pervasive in my life that I'd like to train myself to automatically check in with my need for learning whenever I have that vague "unmet need" feeling that I can't pinpoint. 

Recently an NVC Trainer colleague of mine came to my monthly NVC intro.  At the conclusion of the seminar, he was gushing with compliments, reporting many needs met, and expressing his feelings gratitude and inspiration.  Hearing his feedback, I was conflicted.  One part of me was excited and fulfilled to hear his appreciation, and the other part had that vague unmet need feeling.  A couple of days later, I had this dialogue with myself:

Inner Jackal:  He liked my training so much, he wants to steal it!
Inner Giraffe:  Are you worried because you would like a sense of appreciation for your creations, and you'd like to connect with how your work affects people personally?
Inner Jackal:  Appreciation, yes, and also monetary appreciation!
Inner Giraffe:  So you would like to have more ease and security in your finances?
Inner Jackal:  Not really, that ease and security is flowing well now.  I'm not really worried about that.  I just don't want all the NVC presentations to be the same.
Inner Giraffe:  Oh, yes, I'm guessing that you would like the trainers to be authentic in bringing their true selves to the workshops, rather than using someone else's model.
Inner Jackal:  Absolutely, and if I am inspiring others, and they are using my ideas, where am I going to get my inspiration?
Inner Giraffe:  It sounds to me that when you think about the other trainers using your model, you are scared because you need support in continuing to learn and grow with NVC.
Inner Jackal:  YES!

Connecting with that need to be supported in my own growth led me to a sense of relief or relaxation, although I had no idea how that need was going to be met.

The next weekend, I attended the NVC intro of the trainer who had been to my training.  I was thrilled to see that he used nothing from my presentation!  I was stimulated and intrigued by the way he brought his authenticity to the process, and indeed my world expanded with the learning I got from his presentation.

Regular attention toward learning and growth are indeed a basic necessity of life.  How are they doing in yours?