April, 2007

Revitalizing Requests Part I

What long-standing habit would you like to replace?

Staying in bed too long in the morning? Drinking too much coffee? Responding with anger before connecting with yourself?

Perhaps you've tried to make a change in this habit. The "new you," the one who bounds out of bed at the crack of dawn, drinks only herbal teas, or is the epitome of patience, might get off to a good start, but soon you find yourself right back where you started-- hiding under the covers, angry, with a cup of coffee on the bedside stand.

Brain research (revealed in One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way by Robert Maurer) explains this easily.

What's been found is that humans are programmed to perceive change as a threat. Therefore, when you try to make a change, major alarms will go off in your head (fight, flight or freeze, anyone?) to try to protect you from that threat. Your brain responds to the threat with skyrocketing levels of stress hormones and lower levels of creativity instead of the positive consistent energy you need to reach your long-terms goals.

Now, what if you were able to make the smallest of changes that would slide under your brain's trip wire? The change you want to make for your life would not only be effortless, but actually FUN!

I recently noticed an aversion to vacuuming my office. I committed to myself to vacuum the office for 5 minutes. (If that seemed too big, I could have committed to 1 minute of vacuuming, or even taking the vacuum cleaner out of the closet and plugging it in.)

And here is where NVC added a delightful twist. I chose a need at random (you can purchase a deck of needs cards at the office or create your own) to attempt to meet during my action. In this circumstance, I chose "meaning."

The vacuuming turned out to be a joyful and meaningful experience. I concentrated on infusing the carpets with my personal love and the gratitude I felt in having the classroom and office--a home--dedicated to NVC.

As you might of guessed, in my bliss, I forgot all about the 5 minutes, vacuumed up the whole place and even flowed into cleaning up two spills that had been bugging me for months as well.

I now sense more freedom in my life around the vacuuming--if my assistant is available, I'm still happy to have her do it. However, if she is not, I know that I can get pleasure from the activity.

If you would like to build a new habit, such as a regular exercise routine, you might be focussed on your needs for health, beauty, or self-confidence. Choose a need card AT RANDOM and make the smallest possible commitment. For an ongoing change, make an ongoing commitment.

Perhaps you have drawn the card LOVE, and you've decided that the smallest step you can take is to put your jogging shoes on, stand up, then take them off again. You can do this daily for a week, noticing how you might experience love during this routine.

After the first week, you might be ready for the next step-putting them on, standing up, stepping onto your front porch, then returning. Pull a new need card when you need a new inspiration. Keep building your new routine until you have reached your goal, ONE SMALL STEP at a time.