June, 2007

Waiting isn't easy for me. In the Myers-Briggs personality types, there is one type who is happiest leaving their options open (Perceivers), while the other type is happiest after decisions have been made (Judgers-great label for an NVC trainer, eh?). I fall strongly into the second category.

I knew that I would be eaten alive by my anxiety in waiting to hear if I got the hospital job in Baltimore, if I didn't refocus my attention. So I concocted a plan to help me deal with the "not-knowing" period. First, I wrote down all the reasons that the job and the move would be wonderful. Next, I connected with the met needs associated with each reason. Lastly, I invited myself into creativity about how I could invite those met needs into my life even if I stayed in Seattle. So instead of chewing on "is this going to happen to me," and the powerlessness I felt around that, I was working on "how can I take the best aspects of the job and the move, and manifest them wherever I am?"

I'll give you an example. The Baltimore position is a Monday through Friday job. I haven't worked in a Monday through Friday job for 15 years, meaning that most of my parenting life has included working weekends. My husband, a dear free-lance cellist and music teacher, works every weekend. The hospital job pays enough that my husband could be a stay-at- home parent, while I would be free on the weekends as well. When I realized this, I burst into tears, mourning the ease, rest and connection that I didn't even know I was longing for. I envisioned us sleeping in, making muffins, going to a park or a museum, attending church, even leisurely cleaning the house on those precious weekends.

OK, so creativity time-how can I bring this ease, rest and connection to my life, even if we are in Seattle? What if I simply stopped teaching on the weekends? What if I changed my focus to sharing NVC in the 9-5 business world? What if I expanded my hours for private sessions, while decreasing my group training time? What if we decided, as a family, that Monday and Tuesday was our weekend?

I've got some decisions to make. You can look forward to the JULY issue to hear the end results-- Baltimore is still a possibility at this point. (If you simply can't wait either, you can practice this process!!) What I am grateful for in the moment is how this process removed my desperation for an answer and invited an expanded vision and empowerment for myself. May you enjoy these qualities in great abundance as well.