September, 2009

In dialogues based in Nonviolent Communication, interdependence needs (such as connection, love, and understanding) and independence needs (such as autonomy, creativity and purpose) are our bread and butter.

But recently, I've been discovering the importance of the physical survival needs, and how these needs, when unmet, have a dramatic impact on my relationships.

A few weeks ago, I started compiling a list of strange symptoms I was experiencing-heart palpitations, shaky knees, chattiness, insomnia, hot flashes and confusion. My doctor suggested it could be a blood sugar issue, so I got myself on a hypoglycemia diet.

It only took a day or two for all my symptoms to subside. It was a miracle! Once my blood sugar level was stabilized, I learned to recognize myself in a blood sugar crash and how that was affecting my ability to connect with others.

Embarrassingly enough, impatience and pushiness were also signs of a "crash." I noticed myself yelling at my kids to "hurry up" and literally pushing them, moving their bodies, out of my path if they were between me and my goal. I both defended and felt guilty about these actions, and I was not experiencing the respect, harmony or integrity that I wanted.

Fortunately, I can usually prevent the crashes now, but when I don't, I know to make food my number one priority. If my son asks me if he can have a sleepover (that same night, of course), I tell him to ask me again in twenty minutes. If I am pushing my daughter out of my way, I stop and get her help in making a snack.

Respect, harmony and integrity restored!

Food, water, air, sleep and movement-would giving your body some attention increase your success in relationships?