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Graduating From Guilt
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Graduating From Guilt
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October 30
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Graduating From Guilt
NVC Academy Telecourse
Jan. 19 - Feb. 16, 2011
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"It would not be an exaggeration to say that Holly Eckert's unique teaching of Nonviolent Communication led me into a soul-saving understanding of how to live with an open heart and still feel safe. My need for tenderhearted compassion and skillful guidance is completely met in this great teacher."
~D.S., Course participant,
May, 2010
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Pressure to Perform
April, 2009
Breaking news: I am now a Rhythm Percolator!
Yes, that's right, I percolate vintage jazz rhythms on the piano as the newest member of Miss Rose and Her Rhythm Percolators. And, thanks to Nonviolent Communication, the journey into this gig has given me useful insights.
During the audition process and in preparation for my first gig with the band, I have been receiving frequent visits by my internal hecklers.
"Who do you think you are? You're not good enough to play with them!"
"You have really got to impress them if you're going to get that gig!"
"Pretty soon they're going to find out that you're a fraud! You're no good at all!"
These thoughts left me pretty anxious and tense, which led to more mistakes and less fun! While I was set on impressing the other members, the pressure weighed upon me, trying NOT to make a mistake. When I was focusing so hard on NOT making a mistake, I forgot all about my creativity!
A simple change of goals in the situation cleared it all up. Rather than trying to dazzle the band, I focused on my needs for learning and fun. Bringing the fun back in allowed my creativity re-enter the project, and I deeply knew that if I continued to learn about the music, the other players and my own capabilities, that the project would be sustainable over the long-term.
Ahhh....relaxation….sustainability and discovery. When I refocused my mind, I forgot about amazing the other players, and honestly, began to notice that they made little bloopers once in a while, too! We became a team.
Now whenever I notice my tummy tightening in fear, I get curious. Perhaps a different fingering or voicing could make it easier. Maybe I could even just stop playing for two beats to great dramatic effect!
When people start to share NVC, a common fear is that others will figure out that they are just not qualified. What would happen if the goal became learning something? Or being honest? Making a connection? Expressing creativity? Having fun? Or
even resting and renewing?
Which goal gives you the sense of inner spaciousness?
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